Budapest - As close to heaven as is possible. We landed in Budapest on the Thursday morning following a quick 2 hour flight. Although I do feel sorry for the bloke I sat next to on the flight due to the curry and beers from the night before…sorry!!
The journey from the airport to our hotel was only about 20 minutes or so in a cab and was quite worrying at first. Due to the fact that we decided to go to Budapest by picking it out of a bowl of other destinations we had no idea what to expect. So the journey form the airport was worrying because initially we went past a lot of old grey blocks of flats that were very much a relic of the Soviet days…we were worried!!
But then the city came into view and we both breathed a huge sigh of relief!! The city looked great and to say the scenery (women) was good is an understatement of biblical proporrtion! The hotel was pretty basic but it had a bed and it was in the middle of the city. So after checking in and dumping our stuff we headed out…and went drinking. At this point I would like to point out that this blog will involve a lot of drinking.
We had been clever enough to print off a map and mark on a load of bars that we heard were good. To be honest Thursday from about midday simply descended into a drinking fest. There was a lot of beer, Dreher being the local tipple and it was very very nice!! We managed to stumble our way into a Cuban bar and had a couple of excellent mojito’s. We then headed further up into the city and discovered yet more bars…woohoo!!
We found a cracking place called Karma. This was a little sort of cocktail bar which had loads of tables outside with loads of patio heaters around all the tables as well. The cocktails were excellent, you were always warm and we were sat next to what became known as….”THE CONVEYOR BELT.” We called the street running past the bar this because there seemed to be an exhaustable supply of very attractive women walking past…all raven haired beauties and all in the same dress - tight jeans and knee high boots…NICE!!
I realise this paints a poor picture of us intrepid travellers but this is who we are and what we do so if you don’t like it I recommend you keep your opinions to yourself becasue we don’t give a toss! Moving on, Thursday night also brought an interesting new drink into our lives that I can safely say that I have never had before…The Flaming Lamborghini.
That is me drinking that ridiculously alcoholic drink and burning my nose at the same time. We both had one of these and they taste rank but when in Budapest! We had these in a place called “crazy cafe” and it was not hard to see why they had chosen to call it CRAZY!! There were fish tanks in the walls, a river running under glass panels under the floor and full sized plastic pirates all over the place…and a camel!!
Thursday came to a close in another bar, a tiny little bar opposite our hotel, that was still open. We went in order 2 Jack Daniels and coke and were presented with 2 Jameson that had been shown some coke. We spent a while chatting to the owner in there but to be honest I can remember very little of this….thanks in part to the Jameson!!
Friday then started as you might expect…sometime in the afternoon after a lot of sleep. We began the re-hydration process in a Mexican bar called Cactus Juice (more on that bar later!). We enjoyed an ENORMOUS Mexican platter with all sorts of treats in it. It was cracking and exactly what was needed 
To be honest the rest of the day was spent moving from bar to bar rehydrating further and scouting where we could go that evening.
Friday evening began at the conveyor belt, which had become a regular haunt and always will be. Following a few hours of cokctail drinking and enjoying the “scenery” we moved on…I say “moved” I mean stumbled. We then found ourselves in Crazy Cafe again. Now, one of the major features of this bar is a monumental list of beers from around the world. So after a few drinks in here we decided to grab a beer each form around the world and head onto another bar. I went for an Austrain beer called Gosser Ice (spelling!!) which was brilliant. Ben meanwhile went for an Israeli beer called Maccabi which he tells me was also an excellent choice!
At this point we had planned to head to a particular bar (on the drinking map that we had, which was a stroke of genius to do) but it was closed. However, on our travels we had walked past another club that looked open and lively. So we about turned and headed there…Retro 77. One word to describe this palce….WOW!!! The drink was quite expensive which might have been because we were the only English people in there, but never the less it was amazing. Packed to the rafters, banging music and of course the usual quota of unbelievably attractive women. Check out the video section of FatBritney.com to see what I mean!! While we were in here there was also a feable attempt to hustle us as well. A bloke with arms like tree trunks challenged Ben to an arm wrestle and then “lost” the first match. Now, we were really very drunk at this point but the only way this was going to work was if we were unconscious or he had threatened to snap us in half! We had a brilliant night in here and then got back to our hotel somehow. However, on the way we filmed ourselves next to some battered old Soviet made car. There is a video of this below:
Now, honest to god…neither of us remember this and we found this video after we got back from Budapest!! But it was obviously funny at the time…I’m the wrong person to ask as I don’t remember this at all!!
Saturday actually started in the morning. We got up at a decent time in the morning in anticipation of an action packed day…and it was!! We climbed into a cab, hangovers and all and headed out to a shooting range. We spent an hour or so firing a Glock 9mm and a Magnum .357. While this was a lot of fun, it was tricky with a hnagover and made even more difficult by the fact thaat the Glock jammed with almost every shot. This left you running the risk of losing your hand, however, this would have taken the pain away from my head which might not have been a bad thing. After this we went to Monument Park, via a garage to get a soft drink of 5. This place is a big park full of statues that have survived from the Soviet days. The statues are quality and are HUGE!! The video below shows me standing next to one of them and just to let you know….I am 6′ 4″ so you can see how big these things are!!
The rest of the day was spent in an Irish bar watching football. I will gloss over this as it is not that interesting and I am an Arsenal fan and this was the day we lost at home to Hull. So the start of our Saturday night was spent at, you guessed it…the conveyor belt! Following a truly heroic intake of cocktails we moved into Cactus Juice. Again it was rammed and we quickly found a bar in the corner of the place. At this point the bar was good but nothing special and then I said to Ben “let’s see what’s round the corner.” Thanks the good Lord that I uttered those words!! We moved round the corner and found a dance floor heaving with party goers and stunning women. We were very happy at this point! We danced the night away with some lovely ladies that we met. Some of them spoke English and some didn’t. But all of them were very fit! We also sampled Palinka for this frist time. To this day I have no idea what the hell was in it but it was an alcoholic shot that tasted nice so that all that mattered.
I must also mention that Cactus Juice also featured 4 barmaids that were INCEDIBLE! Each trip to the bar resulted in us arguing over which was the fittest and we constantly changed our minds. In the end we settled on different bar maids as favourites but neither of us would have been unhappy with the others choice!
Sunday was spent in the Irish Bar recovering and wathcing the Singapore Grand Prix, the one held at night! Which looked great even through my hangover. Whilst in hear we found ourselves sat at the bar next to a bloke who lived in Budapest but was English and was full of stories and was a great laugh. It was a great end to the trip and driving back to the airport to leave was a devastating moment.
All in all we cannot wait to go back to Budapest as we loved every moment of it!!
I should also mention the amount of celebrity look a likes that we saw while there! We saw dead ringers for The Proclaimers, Michael Winner, Phil Scolari, George Michael and Peter Stringfellow. I would have loved to have blogged about them all but we have no photo’s to go with them so it won’t really work. However, we have vowed from this point on to take photo’s of any we see so we can start a gallery. With a return to budapest on the cards expect a full gallery!!
