Hello one and all, once again the fat britney boys have been off on our travels again getting up to the usual mix of drunkeness, womanizing and regretting the drunkeness the day after!! This time the trip was a 2 part affair. First we had a night in Budapest and then we moved onto Siofok…more on that later.
But first it was time for our glorious return to Budapest which was the first holiday we went on. Fat britney was born in Las Vegas but Budapest was the very first trip that we made. We’ve been looking forward to a return ever since we first went there and it finally arrived. We landed at around 6pm ish whcih was perfect as it meant we could dump our stuff and then get out and get on with the drinking. We hopped in a cab form the airport and were soon at our hotel where we left our bags and headed out to some of our favourite spots from our last trip. The first place we went to was a particular favourite from last time round…Karma. This features heavily in the original Budapest blog and is not only where we sank a lot of the silly juice but where the “conveyor belt” is also located. We headed straight there and were fortunate enough to get a table in a prime spot right our the front next to the conveyor belt…it was like we had never been away!! We soon slipped effortlessly back into the old routine….drinking our way through their massive cocktail menu.
Ben with cocktail in hand...and Pauls was the blue thing!
As you can see it wasn’t very hard to pick up from where we left off last time. The cocktail menu in Karma is massive and really takes some time to get through the majority of it. Thankfully we are seasoned professionals when it comes to this sort of thing so we managed it without much fuss. The menu is in Hungarian as well which makes it interesting as you can identify most of what is in the drink but there are always a couple of ingredients that you have no idea what they are. most of the time the cocktail comes out tasting nice! We were there for a fair few hours making sure that we packed away as much cocktail as possible including the Karma, The Bangkok Hilton and a couple of Bahama Mama’s….along with a few more Kamikazee’s. Sadly there were no Flying Kanagroo’s this time around as this seems to have disappeared from the menu. Shame. The conveyor belt was not as good previously as all the locals go to Siofok for their holidays, which was bad while we were in Budapest but good news for the next part of our trip!
We eventually moved on from Karma after drinking something in the region of 14 cocktails and 6 shooters between us. Across the road from Karma is another old haunt…Cactus Juice. This was a favourite for many reasons, the bar maids were stunning, the food was great, the drink was plentiful, the cigars were good and the bar maids were fit. So we thought we’d go and see if the hiring polciy was still good. I have to report that it is not as good as it once was. However, the drink and cigars are just as good. So we sat in there and sank a load of JD and coke while puffing on some massive cigars and talking a load of drunk bollocks. The hiring policy wasn’t bad and in most other cities would have seemed pretty good but in this town it weren’t great. At this point in the evening it was about midnight or so and we were looking for another place to drink. We asked the bar maid and eventually she told us of a place up the road that was still open and was lively until late. Then some bloke next to us confirmed this in a strange Turkish/American/British accent…it was really weird. We decided to check it out and jumped in a cab and headed up there. We got in and found it was a tall building with a court yard in the middle that had bars and tables and inside there were people dancing and then there were 2 more levels as well where you could site outside and enjoy the view. It was pretty damn hot in there considering it was outside so we helped ourselves to some more JD and coke and then headed up to one of the balconies where we could sit and hopefully be a bit cooler. The plan failed. It was really fucking hot upstairs as well despite being outside on a balcony. So we finished up our drinks and then called it a night safe in the knowledge that we were very drunk. I remember going to McDonalds after this but i don’t remember how we got back to the hotel, I presume a cab but I really can’t remember…the cocktails are great but not so good for the memory!!
The next day we were due to head to Siofok for the next stage of our holiday but first of all we spent some time in Budapest drinking recovery juice. We decided the sensible thing to do (I can hear you all laughing at that sentence) and head to the Irish bar that we had been to last time to drink some recovery juice, eat some food and hopefully watch some cricket. Thankfully all 3 of these were acheived with ease. They were nice enough to put the cricket on for us, the food was just wwhat was needed, the recoevery juice was nice and the bar maid was quite fit. A good start to the day all in all. England played well in the cricket and we managed to get the directions to the train station from the fit bar maid!
After a short cab ride we were in the train station trying to work out where the hell we needed to go. Funnily enough all the signs were in Hungarian which left us with no chance of knowing what to do! Luckily the signs all had pictures next to them indicating where things are. So we headed towards one that looked like a ticket office to buy some tickets to Siofok. The woman in the ticket office spoke enough English to give us the right tickets which left us with the last problem of which platform and what time train. This proved a bit of a pain in the arse and we eventually resorted to just showing our tickets to people that worked there until they pointed at the right train. Having found the right train we plonked ourselves down in a carriage and settled in for the 2 hour journey on the worlds slowest train! Please note that the FB boys have now used public transport in Hungary, Spain, America and Mexico. We are proper travellers!! The journey took an age…the train was so slow that we were being overtaken by glaciers! We finally arrived in the year 2046 and got off the train at the same time as everyone else, not really sure if it was the right stop but just kind of hoping that it was! Luckily it was!! Sadly as we arrived it began to rain which was an ominous sign but it didn’t dampen our spirits and we were soon in a cab on our way to the hotel. After some very broken english from the girl on reception we dumped our stuff in our room and then made our way towards the town. Siofok is a small town on the shores of Lake Balaton which is a huge lake that all the Hungarians go on holiday to as well as most of Germany apparently! The main part of the town is basically a long strip with bars and cafes all along it and then behind that lies the lake and on the shores of that are more bars and some clubs…nice. We had a quick bite to eat in some “american dinner” and then went off in search of drink and women. The good news is that both were in a plentiful supply. We had a stroll around trying to work out where the best place to go would be. In the end we settled for a spot at the bar of a place called Palace Bar. It was a good choice…the music was loud and good, we were at the bar and got served quickly…and there were loads of fit women around including a plinth just outside where 2 very fit women would take turns dancing while wearing very little…it was as if they knew we were coming and built a bar just for us! The mojito’s were not very good but the G&T was and so was the hiring policy in the place. Everywhere you looked there was eye candy, be it behind the bar, waitressing on the tables, dancing on the stage or even djing….that’s right, even the DJ was a fit blonde bird!! This place had it all. So, funnily enough, we stayed there pretty much all night filling ourselves to the eyeballs with G&T’s while rapidly moving your head and neck all over the place to catch a glimpse of the next stunner that walked past…we are simple beings!! There were many blokes in this bar at the same time but none more annoying than one who kept trying it one with the dancers and showing them his stomach…this prompted much discussion about causing him physical pain…I won’t go into detail but basically none of the discussions ended well for him!! I have to mention the one stand out woman in there…there was a small blonde bird waitressing on the tables out the front of the bar and she ws outstanding, a definate favourite with the FB boys.
As the night continued we moved onto pastures new and headed to the clubs down by the lake itself and headed into one called Coke Club…sponsored by Coca Cola…funnily enough. This is right on the lake and has a sandy beach out the front with a massive stage set up and then a small club as well. We headed into the club and grabbed a few JD and coke but there really wasn’t a lot going on in there except for some really loud music and some really odd sofas…that looked comfortable but ended up being made of plastic and being a bit uncomfortable. So we moved onto another that was not particularly special or memorable. We sank a few more and then headed back to the hotel again…not sure how, can’t really remmeber again…but it was a good start and we were keen for the next day, Saturday.
When we awoke on Saturday we were greeted by a sight we had not bargined for…RAIN and lots of it! This was a spanner in the works as the plan had been to head to the beaches and look at all the peaches! This was blown away by the masses of rain that was pouring down. So instead we got some more sleep while the rain hammered down. Eventually it stopped long enough for us to make into the town which wasn’t the liveliest given the weather conditions. We went to the Coke Club again and got something to eat which was surprisingly nice. It was about 4pm ish by now so we decided to head back to the hotel and slowly get ready for the evenings fun and games. However, as we started back the heavens opened again and we both ended up looking like drowned rats. It got to the point where there was no point in running or hiding because we were so wet it would have made no difference whatsoever. Upon arrival at the hotel we changed into some dry clothes and did little else apart from play some cards and drink a few beers to kill the time before we could go and get drunk. Later that evening we hit the restaurant across the road for some food and some really minging local beer. Not sure what it was but it wasn’t Dreher which we had last time and was really nice but whatever this was was rank. Still the food was nice and did a job and so we went back into the town again to hit the bars for some more drink. We ended up at a little lake side bar which had a great view over the lake behind us and a bar full of drink in front of us. So we hit the drink again but before long we found ourselves sat next to a crazy Italian bloke who was very pissed. He then started banging on about how drunk he was and how well he could handle his drink. So we started drinking some really stupid stuff including Lamboughini’s which we had on our first visit except this time instead of them being on fire the bar maid would pour a load more alcohol in when you were half way through downing it. The Italian bloke pussied out of this leaving just me and Ben drinking them and with the bill when he offered to get a round in! We were perplexed but kept drinking. The Italian kept going on about his drinking prowess so while he was away we lined him up a Lambo but with extra Sambucca…and I really do mean EXTRA!! In fairness to him he saw it off but that was pretty much the end of his night…he was now so drunk he was at the stage of taking his clothes off in public….I’m pleased to say that we put him in that state…but he contributed by mouthing off about his drinking skills. Don’t read this wrong he was a nice bloke and very funny but he thought himself a God when it came to drinking and we quickly dispelled that myth! We stayed there a bit longer and sank a variety of drinks including JD, Gin and Amaretto. We moved onto one of the many other bars in the area and found ourslves at the Bols Bar. This was an open air bar/club with a large dance floor and bars around it. We went for a mojito at the bar as the bar tender said he made the best mojitos…sorry to burst your bubble mate, but you don’t, they were shit! We drank them none the less and found a seat to watch the goings on on the dance floor as we listened to an odd mix of music that the crowd seemed to love…weird. We grabbed a few more drinks while in there and then moved on to Coke Club again. There was a live DJ playing on the massive outdoor stage and the crowd was loving it. After getting in another at the bar we met some Aussie bloke but we ditched him as he was a bit of a dick, we left Coke CLub fairly unimpressed and headed back to Palace Bar again and took a seat out the front on one of the tables and took advantage of the table service there while enjoying the atmosphere. The DJ was playing the same tracks as the night before in the same order as well…I have a suspision that she was employed more for her looks than her skills as a DJ…but then I am a very synical man!! We drained a load more alcohol in here and then probably did something else but I can’t really remember at this point as I was pretty drunk and it was quite late/early depending on your view point!!
Sunday was the day we headed home and of course this meant that the weather was spectacular and it was really bloddy hot! Typical! Still it gave us our long awaited chance to see the beach in action and it was worth the wait. There were hundereds of people down there who were all loving the sun and the women were incredible. This is exaclty why we chose to go to Siofok and the weather had denied us this all weekend…shame. We set up camp in Coke Club again and grabbed some omre of their very nice food with some recovery juice. The view was outstanding and there were loads of people down there and loads of people in the lake. It’s obviously a shallow lake because there were people in it that were miles out and the lake was barely at the waist! There were also a lot of Germans around in Speedo’s with mullets, showing that their country still refuses give into 21st century fashion. Sadly after a few hours of enjoying the view, weather and the beach we had to move on and get ourselves to the airport for our flight home.
Siofok was great and we would love a return when the weather was good because after only a few hours of nice weather it became clear we would ahve spent a long time walking on the beaches looking at the peaches…
